Downward spiral
Jul. 10th, 2011 09:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jcollie719I feel like complete shit now. This weekend has been filled mostly with stress, panic attacks, violent outbursts and feelings of being hopeless and worthless. I have a feeling things will continue to get worse before they get better. The problem is: I'm having a hard enough time dealing with my current situation. I can't imagine how I'll be able to handle myself when things start getting *really* bad.
I'm looking hard for a new job, yet others call me a leech, freeloader, etc. because -- until last October -- I had been collecting unemployment, which I helped pay for (for myself and others) through taxes from my previous jobs. I'm competing against hundreds of others for each open position, even at fast-food restaurants. My unemployment has run out, but the bills are still coming each month and I still need to eat to stay alive.
I have come across people who delight in spreading negative energy. Perhaps it's best if I permanently keep them away to keep myself from feeling worse.
I'm looking hard for a new job, yet others call me a leech, freeloader, etc. because -- until last October -- I had been collecting unemployment, which I helped pay for (for myself and others) through taxes from my previous jobs. I'm competing against hundreds of others for each open position, even at fast-food restaurants. My unemployment has run out, but the bills are still coming each month and I still need to eat to stay alive.
I have come across people who delight in spreading negative energy. Perhaps it's best if I permanently keep them away to keep myself from feeling worse.
